


Beautiful Enough?

by kuraleap52



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorders, Name-Calling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25216600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuraleap52/pseuds/kuraleap52
Summary: "Afternoon, babe. You just come back from a run?" Matt says while walking into their house after morning skate. Natasha nodded, unable to form words due to how out of breath she was. "Jeez, how many miles did you run?" Matt asked with concern in his voice. Natasha immediately picked up on where this conversation was going. She had to lie."Two." Matt nodded."Nice. After you shower do you want to grab lunch?" He asked, dropping the subject. Natasha internally sighed a breath of relief."Yeah, sounds good," she smiled.
Kudos: 5





	Beautiful Enough?

**Author's Note:**

> *TW* There's going to be an eating disorder in this fic, so if you're not comfortable reading that I advise you don't read this.

Matt can't help but smile at the professional pictures of him and his beautiful wife. He's holding his gorgeous wife, Natasha, in his arms as they look into each others eyes. All while they have the stunning view of Boston in the background. It's the perfect photo. It must be shared with the internet. Surely everyone will agree the photo is gorgeous, right? Well, you'd think that. I mean, who would criticize this perfect picture? Many people.

**patriceisperfection: you'd think Matt would find a hotter wife**

**pastapasta: ew I can see her big stomach.**

**bruinz6347: Matt's smile looks forced. he doesn't look happy with her, and I don't blame him**

**debruskyy69: why is Matt's wife nearly twice his size lol**

**fearthebear: geez is she pregnant or something?**

**walpoleboii: maybe she shouldn't be wearing a skin tight dress rn**

**firemarchyy: hopefully she can lose some weight**

Matt's heart broke reading these comments. How could they love him but not love his wife? He wanted to confront all of these jerks face-to-face and yell, "She's not your wife, back the fuck off!" Except half of these were probably lousy teenagers who had nothing better to do. He sighed, shutting off his phone, only to see his wife standing in the doorway. She too had the same look on her face that he just had a second ago. He couldn't bare to see his wife like this.

"Do you see what they're saying about me? Am I really that ugly? I know I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world but-"

"But you are! They just can't see that. I can promise you, what they're saying is bullshit. You _are_ the most beautiful woman in the world. And I love you. So much," Matt smiles at her. He looks up to see her face more red than a tomato. She is giving him a ' _Matthew, please stop you're making me blush'_ look. They spend a few seconds just lovingly staring into each other's eyes.

"Thank you, baby. I can always count on you to make me feel good. How about I make us some dinner?" 

* * *

It's been a couple weeks since Natasha first discovered the comments on Instagram. Since then she'd make it a daily routine to check all of her social media platforms to see if anyone has said something about her. Everyday there's at least one new one, either commenting about her appearance or personality. She's always believed she's never good enough. No matter how hard she tries. Now, she's determined to do better. She's determined to lose at least twenty pounds. From there she'll work on other details about herself. Whitening her teeth, wearing more jewelry, etc... The only problem is, she hasn't told Matt about this. She's sure he would say something like, "Why bother? You're already the most stunning woman on this earth." She was going to do this to prove her haters wrong. She was going to become beautiful. 

"Afternoon, babe. You just come back from a run?" Matt says while walking into their house after morning skate. Natasha nodded, unable to form words due to how out of breath she was. "Jeez, how many miles did you run?" Matt asked with concern in his voice. Natasha immediately picked up on where this conversation was going. She had to lie.

"Two." Matt nodded.

"Nice. After you shower do you want to grab lunch?" He asked, dropping the subject. Natasha internally sighed a breath or relief.

"Yeah, sounds good," she smiled.

* * *

"You sure you don't want a burger? You love burgers," Matt asked, confused. Natasha had no idea what to do. If she were to order a burger, well that would be a lot of calories. And if she were not to order a burger, Matt would be even more suspicious. Panicked, Natasha decided to order a burger.

"You're right. I do _lovee_ burgers," Natasha smiled. She knew she'd have to make up for this somehow. Run extra miles tomorrow? No, not good enough. She'd already ran seven miles today, how was she supposed to run more than seven miles tomorrow? Oh! She'll just skip dinner. It'll be fine, this burger should really fill her up anyway.

* * *

Skipping dinner that night turned into skipping dinner the next night. And the next night. Dinner turned into breakfast too. The only meal she'd really eat would be lunch. Otherwise, she'd have maybe a piece of toast and lots of water for breakfast and dinner. Luckily for her, Matt didn't seem to notice. So far, she was getting away with it. And it was working. She'd lost fifteen pounds in four weeks. She felt better about herself, but not completely satisfied. Until she was completely satisfied, she wouldn't stop. 

Her morning routine would consist of getting out of bed, brushing her teeth, stepping on the scale, writing down her weight in a notebook, eating a piece of toast, going on an eight mile run, stepping back on the scale, and writing down her weigh in a notebook. After and during runs she found herself getting winded, feeling nauseous, her head pounding, etc... That's why she decided she needed to wake up earlier. So by the time Matt would get home she would already have already caught her breath and taken a shower. Also, on their days off from practice and games Natasha would make sure to eat hardly anything to make up for the fact she wasn't able to go on her run. It worked for awhile. He would get home from morning skate and not suspect a thing. Then, one day Matt was driving to morning skate when he started feeling very sick. He decided to practice through it, but his nausea soon became unbearable. He left practice early feeling miserable. All he wanted to do was lay down and sleep. What he saw when he opened the door was totally unexpected. There, on their kitchen floor, layed his beautiful wife. She was drenched in sweat and was extremely pale.

"No! No! Natasha? Wake up, please, baby. _Please!"_ Matt pleaded with his unconscious wife, who opened her eyes shortly after Matt's yelling. Her eyes went wide. She knew she'd fucked up.

"Matt?" She croaked. 

"I'm here, Tash. I'm here," he reassured her, his voice cracking.

"Matt, I'm so sorry. I'm such a disappointment. All I wanted was to be good enough for you," she sobbed into his chest. He protectively wrapped his arms around her and rubbed circles into her back, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

* * *

Natasha went on to explain everything to Matt, and he was supportive throughout the whole thing. Despite his undying anger for the trolls on the internet who made her feel this way, Matt stayed strong for Natasha. He made sure she knew she could count on him to comfort her, while also giving her space when she wanted to be alone. After a few long talks and lots of encouragement from Matt and others, Natasha sought treatment in MANTRA, Maudsley Anorexia Nervosa Treatment for Adults. She would go to therapy sessions, sometimes with Matt, once a week for ten weeks. Then, she'd go twice a week for five weeks. Her recovery was long and hard, but eventually she healthily gained back all that weight. She was told how she could healthily deal with weight loss. Soon, she was feeling herself again. She was smiling more than ever, she grew more appreciative of her loving husband, and she felt beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Thousands of people with eating disorders suffer in silence, but there is no need. There are many people that would be willing to talk to you and support you throughout your recovery from an eating disorder. Here is an eating disorder hotline, where you can call and talk to someone about your struggles.  
> 1-800-931-2237. You are never alone.


End file.
